This morning I got a little glimpse at what life would be like if I was the worst person in the world and was banished to ninth circle of Hell that Dante wrote about. [To be honest I just Wikipedia’d that to sound smart.]

For starters, I was going to do my Monday morning run on the treadmill and I went to turn on the television and nothing. My husband decided to switch us from regular cable to AT&T U-verse. Basically everything that could go wrong has gone wrong with this switch. I restarted the tv and nothing.  All I was staring at was an orange AT&T U-verse screen.  Awesome. There goes my Zack Morris fix for the morning. 

I thought ok, I’ll just listen to my iPod. Dead. I grabbed my husband’s iPod. Dead. So I stared at a white door trying desperately to daydream about something that would keep me from looking down at the time screen every five seconds. I daydreamed about food and wedding dresses. Listen people, I have to do what I have to do to make it through a workout.

I thought that was the end of my nightmare.  Nope. It was just the beginning.

As I was playing ball with the pups outback I heard a loud truck approach our house.  The dogs proceeded to run to the fence and bark non-stop. After what felt like an eternity the dogs came in barking, barking, barking.  I looked out the window.  Servicemen. I don’t know about you, but when I’m home alone and it’s someone I don’t know is coming I ignore the door knocks.

The dogs were going crazy and it turned out to be the AT&T guys there to bury the cable. So I got to get ready for work to the soothing dulce tones of the dogs barking. For over an hour.

Finally, as I’m getting deeper and deeper into the pits of Hell, on my way to work a train was stopped, stopped, on the train tracks.  I had to wait about half an hour to make it to work

Am I complaining? Possibly. But this list is a reminder of why I need to be a good girl and make my way to Heaven. Because I know that Satan would have a lovely treadmill in Hell waiting for me if I wasn’t a good girl.

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