My husband is a, how do I put this delicately, a weirdo.

He has this huge hang-up that if my head or any of my body parts touches his precious pillow he will throw a fit.

So you know what that means, right?

Every time he does something to irritate me I run into the bedroom and rub my head all over his pillow. (Or I at least threaten to do it.)

Here’s the thing people, it wouldn’t be a big deal to me except (and this is a BIG except) he lets the brown dog cozy up to his pillow. The same brown dog that licks herself, sheds, and has dirt in her fur.

Ex-squeeze me?

How am I dirtier than a dog?

“Well she’s comfortable. I don’t want to bother her,” is his excuse.

I may be wrong, but I’m pretty positive I am cleaner than the dog.

Oh well, he’s got to leave the house sometime…